The power of being reserved and introverted as a Dominatrix.

I love the idea of being an unsuspectable surprise. I have always had this advantage in My life. My angelic face, introverted and reserved attitude has been My secret weapon. People would never guess that behind the gentle appearance is hiding a strong and powerful Woman with deviant and perverted urges/ desires/ longings/ fantasies/ inclinations. 

Being enigmatic is part of who I am, I like to be discovered, I love to unveil Myself slowly, I love to make you earn the privilege to get to know Me closely. Creating the mystery of discovering step by step how to best serve Me and all the ways I like to be pleased is all part of how I dominate My world.

As many fishes as there are in the sea as many there are different approaches to Femdom/ BDSM or any other thing in life. 

What BDSM means to Me, the way I experience it might be completely different from how it is for the majority of other people. 

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I like to facilitate unique immersive experiences. 

Since I am a very relational person, when I engage in BDSM it is also very relational for Me. I could never take the relational away from it and just stay with the physical or practical. When I enter a dynamic it is always through relation. I cannot perform ( and mind Me here, there is nothing wrong with performing) I cannot not be Myself. This is also one of the reasons I am not a content creator. 

Coming back to what it means to Me to be relational in My sessions. My undivided attention goes to the person I am with. The outside world disappears and W/we are immersed in the present moment. My energy starts influencing your energy, My voice starts controlling your mind, My body starts molding your body, My breath starts directing your breath, it becomes a dance. I lead, you follow. you feel My leadership and you feel you can trust Me and just follow. I teach you the steps and slowly you learn and start following the lead. Then it becomes just natural. 

 

The consensual power dynamic can be extremely healing for both parts.

Exploring power and control on My side in a consensual way allows Me to integrate a part of Myself which if hidden and shut down can become a power complex, and be used for exploitation or fawning in a daily life.

Exploring surrender and submission intentionally can allow you to integrate that part of yourself which if repressed and shamed might keep you in a constant alertness or frustration and never allow you to let go which might keep you stuck in high activation states or depression.

When engaging in BDSM I do not accept to conform to any shoulds and shouldn’ts of what is real BDSM or real Domme. 

For me being a Dominatrix means owning My power and owning My wants and needs. Whatever it means for Me, I give it the meaning. If I should conform to anything it would mean I am losing My power and therefore I am not Dominant anymore.** This is how I feel about it. I decide the rules. What makes Me Dominant is that I am in charge, not what I do or do not do. In sessions and in daily life. 

The same thing goes for submissives. you do not need to undergo things you feel beyond your limits, be humiliated if you don’t like humiliation, be called ways you do not like to prove yourself a real submissive. Submission is about how you feel, not what you do. 

I have found freedom in My unsuspectable Dominance, may you find freedom in your submission. 

 

**Obviously I am talking about conscious and informed choices based on respect, not careless and unaware attitudes.